The 100-Day Selfcare quest experience: By Dasaratha Rama

The 100-Day Selfcare quest: Making Me-time the LIFESMART Way

As a parent of a neurodivergent adult, I know how hard it is to find me-time. Between therapies, education, career, and many other demands on our time, we have no time. Now, I am slowly finding more time. A perfect time for me to think about and develop me-time. As Ananth is becoming more independent in learning and practice, I want to be mindful in discovering and using me-time!

Thanks Shilpi for starting the 100-Day Selfcare quest.

In this blog post, I want to share how this project is working for me. This is a timely project for me.

In this post, I will share my experiences in the first week of the 100-Day Selfcare quest. I will also share ten tips for selfcare, the LIFESMART way!

100-Day Selfcare quest: Week 1 Summary and Reflection

1) Being more mindful is the biggest benefit of the 100-Day Selfcare quest.
2) Thinking about where to spend the me-time.

I use LIFE goals for thinking about it.

L: Learning daily: What do I want to learn daily?
• Right now, learn more about Ramana Maharshi (Ananth is very involved with Ramana Maharshi Center for Learning and much connected to it),
• Learn about video creation (we are new to this!),
• Continue learning about theater arts and acquire additional skills,
• Continue exploring learning by narration

I: Interests: Everything I am learning is new and interesting, a change for an engineer/professor,

F: Family interactions: All of these activities are beneficial to my family, and

E: Engagement with community: These activities support the way I engage my LIFESMART community.
3) think about how to get time.
4) I am consciously choosing and nudging Ananth and dad to do some Bergen explorations so I have some me time!
5) The other part of LIFESMART – SMART projects are also how I think about me time. For example, I chose to attend a satsang yesterday for the first time.
6) I am documenting different me-time activities in a Googlesheet:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_49sWhsI0dCLIEbyxyxOzxf3wI6f13cxwkpnyR07vPU/edit?usp=sharing

Making Me Time – The LIFESMART Way
Your child’s daily LIFE creates me-time for you!

L: Learning daily
Identifying ways for Ananth to learn independently creates me time.
Example:
Ananth, his dance teacher, and I have worked together for the past few months on designing lessons, recording videos, and organizing practice. Investing time in designing a system of practice is paying off and Ananth is practicing mindfully and independently.
I: Interests
Identifying and developing a child’s interests creates more me-time for parents. Parents can use this me time for pursuing their interests
Example: Ananth used to practice Bharatanatyam and piano daily for many years. He was motivated to spend time on these activities creating some me-time for me!
F: Family interactions
Identifying ways for Ananth to spend time with dad and other family members makes me time.
E: Engagement with Community
Creating opportunities for your child to participate in community activities creates me time and also enjoyable we time!

How much me-time is right for me?
Me-time is a deeply personal question and depends on our circumstances. When Ananth was younger, I had very limited me-time. As he is getting older, I am better able to make time for myself.

What is me-time anyway?
One other question that I have been mulling: What is me-time? There are many ways of defining me-time. I look at me-time from a LIFESMART perspective. My ten tips below clarify how I think of me-time!

Ten Tips for Utilizing Me-time
Tip 1. Discover the doable. Even if you can find only a few minutes to spend on yourself each day, do it!
Tip 2. Use LIFE components
L: Use me-time for learning
I: Us me-time to pursue interests even if they are not directly useful for you or your family at this time
F: Use me-time to take time away from family to get back to family interactions with more energy and enthusiasm
E: Use me-time to engage your community.
Tip 3. Do SMART projects
SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-framed): Do SMART projects in your me-time

Tip 4. Grow Connections: Use me-time to develop and deepen connections with family, friends, and others. Do not limit yourself to connections who help you raise your child.
Tip 5. Enjoy Conversations: Recharge with conversations with friends and family.
Tip 6. Clarity: Clarify how to make and use me-time over time.
Tip 7. Choice: Make and refine choices for using me-time
Tip 8. Competence: Prioritize and learn skills in your me-time
Tip 9. Coordination: Coordinate with others to make me-time happen!
Tip 10. Me- time happens! Don’t worry about me-time. We often have little time for ourselves when our children are young. As they grow and become more independent, our me-time grows.

I encourage parents to investigate selfcare and take small steps to selfcare. Stay tuned for more posts on this topic!

Author Dasaratha Rama