“What to say and what not to say to someone with autism”

“What to say and what not to say to someone with autism”

We live in a world where we often gain awareness about a subject or a topic only once we face it or someone related to us faces it. This is very much the case related to Autism and all information about it that exists.
In the society people are still not aware or affluent of what autism is and what can one do about it. Lot of awareness campaigns and drives are held so that we can gain acceptance , understanding and inclusion for individuals with Autism, but it is still a long and rocky road to go.
I am happy that we have made small success to enlighten many people about the neurodivergent world and the remarkable kings and queens that live in that world.

This blog is for parents , professionals , siblings and teachers who are connected and work with an autistic individual. When we live in the same roof with an autistic personality , we try to turn our world around them so that we can make them perform their maximum and to the fullest.
And no special needs parent would deny it.

But at times , unknowingly we utter certain sentences/statements that can be painful to a person or child with ASD.
Remember we might not intent to hurt or trigger them , but it just happens.
So I thought why not watch our words. This can help me and you to connect better and deeper with that special person in our lives.
…. lets read ahead

There are certain phrases or conversations that we might have done with a child , teenager or an adult with autism and you may have thought that you are imparting some empathy but it has actually had an adverse effect on that individual

So when you say “ You seem so normal , you don’t look Autistic !”
Well you might mean something else , but to a person with autism , he/ she might think – How does someone with Autism look? What physical characteristics make someone look like they have Autism? None.
Then there would be times , when you would have commented “I have social issues too. I must have Autism.”
Hmm , I think when we say this , you are surely acknowledging your lack of socialization or some sensory difficulties. But to compare yourself to someone with autism diagnosis can make them feel “that you are rude and lack understanding about Autism.”

–Another statement that many parents would agree that they have heard from grandparents of an autistic grandchild. “Does this child need medication to cure it ?”As a therapist this one breaks my heart and I am sure you might have felt exactly the same .Well I feel upset that people think that medication is always involved.
So my point of view is whatever you know about autism could be an incomplete information , the best guide and pool of information is to hear out people who live with it. Read their biographies, research articles, published books and data by them. This will make more sense and give you most valid and accurate details about the world of autism

So I have made my mind , what I am going to say to a person with autism when I meet them next time is
1.Can you explain what is autism to me ?
2.I am here if you want to talk about anything you feel ?
3.Do you want to come and eat lunch with us ?
4.Ohh that explains a lot about you … that why you like to jump so hard on the ground ?

When you quote such comments and interact in this way , then the individual feels you are connecting to their core and are ready to understand them more. If you say how a small child will understand and comprehend your statements, well child can read vibrations you carry in your word and children with autism are quick to estimate some of your body language you show. This is why they love some of their therapists more than the other or want Mumma’s time more than dad’s time or vice versa.
They are very good silent observers. God has given them some abilities that we surely lack.
This blog of mine is purely intended to help you to have a fruitful relationship through words with an autistic person and be their ally. I don’t mean to comment on anyone’s parenting style or way of communication. But surely by keeping certain things in our immediate memory we can change the equation with our little ones.

Sharing happiness and affirming positivity your way
Signing out – Author Heena Sahi

Creative representation for this blog is done by our supertalented CreativeSaathi associate Kabir Vernal.


“Rapunzel at the Hair Saloon”

“मन – day की बात SpecialSaathi के साथ”

“Rapunzel at the Hair Saloon”
Date: 29/01/2023 Author- Hetal Rathod

Myself Dr Hetal Rathod and my daughter’s name is Aadhya Rathod 6years old, I want to share our amazing experience with all of you.
Since many months we were trying to convince Aadhya for cutting her hair but she was not willing to do this because she is very much influence by the character Rapunzel (Tangled). She wants to grow her hair like Rapunzel 70Ft.
But we are facing issues that she doesn’t like to tie her hair, and it was very difficult to comb her hair due to tangled. So many times, we talk with her and explain her that small hair is very beneficial for her and she will look more beautiful.
Initially she was hesitated but she agreed to go with it.
Yesterday I saw her video of one girl went to saloon for manicure, pedicure and haircut. So, after watching this video she was agreed to do it on Sunday.
So today in the evening we went to the saloon where she explained hair dresser about what type of cut (On her Grandpa’s Birthday during videocall she had Bob Cut hair) the same hair cut she wants.
We took her favourite doll Chutki as a translon object with us while visiting hair cut saloon.
During her hair cut she co-operates very well. She also started talking with hair dresser. (about his name, his wife’s name, his baby’s name age schooling etc because she is chatterbox)
After finishing hair cut hair dresser told her that she can clip her hair on the sideways and she can leave open her hair. So, I told Aadhya that she can have hair clip like one of her classmates. But she corrected me that “I Won’t copy her but I will be Myself Aadhya”. So, every member at the hair cut saloon appreciates her reply and praised her.
Every day I was teaching her that do not compare your self to anyone. You should be yourself.
Today she corrected me on the same.
I am really proud of her.

Artwork by Aadhya Rathod

Thanks Everyone,
Hetal Rathod

My Rapunzel After Hair Cut

Author Hetal Rathod

Artwork by Dhrov Tikoo

Creative representation for this blog is done by our talented CreativeSaathi associate Dhrov Tikoo

bloggersaathi Junior

Bloggersaathi junior Stories: part 4

Read Bloggersaathi junior Stories series-1, Read Bloggersaathi junior Stories series-2, Read Bloggersaathi junior Stories series-3.

The lion and the cub

By Saksham Gupta winner of fourth position in Specialsaathi’s Children’s Day Story-writing competition.

Body Parts – Weakness by B.Gunin Khushi

Heart : Sadness
Brain : Headache
Lungs : Cold
Nose : Nose block and breathing problem
Eyes : Mobile phone and lights
Ears : Loud noise
Skeletal system : dogs
Digestive system : unhealthy food
Nervous system : Low memory
Skin and Muscular system : Carnivorous animals
Blood : Female Mosquito
Leg : Jumping for long time
Fingers : Too many homework

Artwork by Nikhil Thotam

Author B.Gunin Khushi

I am Gunin. Studying 3rd STD in KRM school, Chennai.
I love dinosaur, maths, direct action movie, eat pizza😅
I want to become an entrepreneur (innovative company creator).

Creative representation for this blog is done by our supertalented CreativeSaathi associate Nikhil Thotam

bloggersaathi Junior

Navneet Kulkarni’s thoughts



Hi today’s blog is quite insightful and detailed to understand how to better your child’s whole body and mind development

In order to be a part of an accurate personality development of your child , you don’t have to dig very deep into the pediatric world but have a fair idea about how the child develops in different domains like socially , physically , cognitively , orally , how they use big muscles , small muscles , how they play and do game

Lets go ahead and talk in more details

Every child is having a pace of developing when they come to life . Please remember don’t mistake one’s holistic development and growth as a competition . Every child gains weight differently from other child even during an infant stage. Parents should be patient and mindful of learning about milestones. There is no rule that all children in this world should say the syllable baba when it comes to language milestone

I would suggest read books , researches , published articles on child development to aware yourself with variations that can take place and are pretty normal

Every child’s development are dependent on many factors – genes , environment , diet , social environment , family history , birth history etc

Now lets shift our focus on what milestones to look forward to and explore more f you have a growing child or plan for one

Gross motor milestones – these are the skills that are age appropriate where the child is mainly suing the big muscles of body like should , calfes , thighs , back , abdominals for e/g playing with ball , kick a ball , swimming , running fast , changing direction while running etc

Fine motor milestones – these are the skills where child is learning to use and manipulate small muscles of body like fingers , hands for e.g holding a toys , shaking a toy , holding a crayon , doing puzzles , gripping a glass , etc

Self help milestone – these are age appropriate maneuvers of maintaining and managing oneself like eating , dressing , combing , toileting , etc

Cognitive milestone- these are skills that help a child to motor plan , comprehend , attend to a task , remember and retention of things , be oriented to place time and situation , executive functions , problem solve , ready to learn , focus and attend etc

Language milestones– focus on speech , oral skills , comprehension , body language , forming worsds and then sentences , spellings , memory related to language skills , communicating non verbally , story narration and telling , communicating needs , request , suggestions , comments , protests yes or no , I don’t know etc

Social milestone – these are placing importance on skills on socialisation and interaction like starting conversation , turn taking , negotiating , advocating , listening and attending , taking criticism , making friendships , keeping emotions in check

Creative Expression milestone – starting to draw shapes , figures , lines , explore with different drawing and painting tools , folding and manipulating paper to make crafts

Other milestones would be advanced play behavior , self regulation , emotional intelligence

Well we must keep in mind that right from a neonate to an adolescent , there a number of skills are developed that help in our survival and every person connected with childhood development should seek awareness and knowledge about these.

Once you have an intent to be aware about milestones you will be able to trace out at what pace the child is lagging or progressing and you can direct your parenting style accordingly

It is also important to be clear that children can have learning difference about these milestones that is they can have delay , they can be emergent but if we project proper therapies and enthusiasm , the milestones can be achieved fully or partially

Always remember it could be a delay but not completely absent , if a milestone chart says that swimming can occur till 5 years , your child might be lagging and so could achieve it by 8 years

You need to get in touch with good professional who help and guide and give you an outlook to respect your child’s growing capacity

So now your question would be where can you find these developmental milestones charts . Also note you can find charts for body weight , height , chest circumference and head circumference but don’t get blinded that you underestimate your child’s growth all the time if they don’t meet the criteria

This is harsh but my dear nobody criticizes you if you sugar and cholesterol levels are not within normal and you have diabetes. What you say .. this is part of life

So lets see where can you get these charts to understand your child’s development




Well CDC is your go to thing

See the link below to gain the insight

CDC’s Milestone Tracker App | CDC

I hope you felt I was talking sense about the growth and development of the children of our world

Also you as parent should be equally aware so that you can raise better concerns with your child’s therapist or pediatrician

Don’t be google smart but CDC smart


Creative Effort and Pediatric Physiotherapist – Heena Sahi

Artwork by Nikhil Thotam

Creative representation for this blog on milestones is done by supertalented CreativeSaathi associate Nikhil Thotam