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SOCIAL SKILLS
(Acceptance and Inclusion- 3 )

SOCIAL SKILLS
(Acceptance and Inclusion- 3 )- by Jaya Sudhakar and Siddhanth Palaparti


Growing up in Mumbai, ‘the melting point of cultures’, Siddhanth was naturally exposed to varied languages, religions, customs and traditions both in our neighbourhood and in his school, therapy centres and sports club. The rich Indian tradition of celebrating festivals contributed immensely to enhancing his social skills and giving him a happy childhood.


Siddhanth was a part of all our building festivities and celebrations along with his friends, be it Holi, Satyanarayan Pooja or the New Year Celebrations. Holi was marked by worshipping the Holika Dahan in the adjoining areas and celebrating with a riot of colours the next day. Right from 8 am in the morning, Siddhanth’s bunch of friends would come to call him. The pichkaris, colours and balloons would always excite the kids. Later on it became a tradition in the building to celebrate the entire day of Holi. Breakfast, lunch and dinner orders were given to caterers. They would be elaborate buffet meals in the courtyard on the ground floor. As all the residents would gather down for breakfast, it used to be lovely to see the glowing faces of many of the senior citizens whose movements were otherwise restrained. They would wholeheartedly bless the children in their warm affectionate ways. Many grownups would join the kids in the fun and frolic with colours and water, indulging the child in them. The evening celebrations would be the best with games like musical chairs, Housie and dumb charades.


Similarly, the annual Satyanarayan Pooja also provided a lovely opportunity for Siddhanth to bond with our neighbours. We would go down and sit for the Pooja and watch with gratitude as Siddhanth’s sitting tolerance increased with advancing age. He loved wearing traditional clothes, listening to the sacred chants and the community dinner that followed. In his teenage years, the dinner gathering in the courtyard of both the Holi festival and the Satyanarayan Pooja provided opportunities for him to regale his audience with Hindi film songs which he played on his Casio. He would enjoy belting out one favourite song after another as the evening progressed.


As these were regular annual celebrations, we observed that over the years, Siddhanth became better accustomed to the social norms and looked forward to them. We did keep in mind his limited attention span in his early years and his sensory challenges. His comfort was of utmost importance to us. We kept gradually increasing the time duration of his participation and we ensured that his skin was well moisturized with coconut oil before playing with colours during Holi festival. We understood and respected his feelings whenever he had reservations about stretching his palm to receive prasad which was sticky in nature.


This blog cannot end without recounting one Holi incident when Siddhanth was in his late teens. It amused my husband and me when Siddhanth asked his father with a big smile if he could borrow the latter’s old T – shirt for playing with colours. We weren’t surprised, Siddhanth’s love for clothes is legendary in our family circles – it was the manner in which he asked for it – very sweetly to circumvent messing any of his own T-shirts, that truly melted our hearts.

Author Jaya Sudhakar

Jaya Sudhakar has done her Masters in Physics and was employed as an Asst.Manager in a PSU. Her son’s diagnosis urged her to seek voluntary retirement from service . She is actively involved with Forum for Autism, Nayi Disha and The Spectrum Autism. Friends,tending to plants, reading, writing, music, movies, travelling and a little bit of spirituality are her perennial energy boosters.

Typing of story in Word and Creative graphics done by CreativeSaathi Siddhanth Palaparti, Jaya’s son

Siddhanth is a budding graphic designer, coder and music lover. He has graduated in computer applications and completed several certificate courses. His work trajectory includes internships, freelancing and voluntary work for social causes. He derives immense happiness from remembering birthdays and wishing everyone for it. Swimming, travelling and playing music on the keyboard are his other passions.

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SOCIAL SKILLS
(Acceptance and Inclusion- 2 )

SOCIAL SKILLS
(Acceptance and Inclusion- 2 )by Jaya Sudhakar and Siddhanth Palaparti


In Mumbai we resided in a 5 – storey building for 17 years. So Siddhanth literally grew up with many of his peers in our neighbourhood. The cosmopolitan surroundings, diverse professional backgrounds of our neighbours and the open-mindedness of Mumbaikars in general, went a long way in providing a conducive atmosphere for Siddhanth to evolve and develop holistically in a very organic way.

Siddhanth was already diagnosed to be in the spectrum when we moved in. We did not give overwhelming importance to it in our interaction with others – neither us nor our neighbours. In the initial years as most of his daily living skills were age-appropriate and as Siddhanth was generally friendly by nature, no one noticed anything amiss. His inherent ability to remember faces and names of people stood him in good stead. As he grew up and gaps between him and his peers started widening in certain areas, we would always respond to general curiosity by referring to the challenges he faced and how we were working towards facilitating him to overcome them. Most of the time we only met with understanding and encouraging words, especially from the senior citizens. Siddhanth’s peers too were eager to include him in their play. There were older children in the group and they were quick to accommodate him , introducing a few structured games in group play as he was comfortable in it. ‘Autism’ as a term was introduced by us to our neighbours only after we were fairly settled and it just happened organically, by speaking about it to a couple of neighbours who showed genuine interest / concern and through them by word of mouth, the other residents too became familiar with the term. Right from the beginning through our association with the parent support group Forum for Autism , Siddhanth too became aware about Autism having participated in many of its awareness walks and sensitization programmes. So, in a way Siddhanth’s self – acceptance of his autism and acceptance of his autism by our neighbours and his peers were going on simultaneously.

The general friendliness and co-operative nature of our building residents provided many opportunities for Siddhanth to socialize. It also helped that my husband loves the company of children . He is so easygoing with them that they instantly take a liking for him. In my last blog I had mentioned about how playing board games, computer games and going to parks with friends enriched Siddhanth’s childhood. Atleast twice a week after his return from office, my husband would take Siddhanth and his friend Karan on his bike to play in parks with interesting play equipment. We soon gained reputation among our building kids as aunty being the go-to person to give them ideas and provide resources for their school projects and uncle being their trusted ally and supporter for indulging them in all their curiosities in exploring the world .

An abiding memory is when the building kids were giving shelter to some stray puppies. One little pup was once unwell and the kids were waiting for my husband to return from office . They had already made enquiries and found out about a veterinarian. So on hearing the earnest joint request to go to the vet, my husband readily obliged. With Siddhanth and another kid riding pillion , there were three other kids with the pup in an auto rickshaw, giving directions to the vet’s clinic. The bemused vet quickly got to work. His medicines and guidance were like a tonic to the worried kids. All was well in the end, with the puppy recovering within a day. I still remember opening the door that evening to my beaming husband and a very excited eight-year old Siddhanth after their visit to the vet. I got a wonderful and enthusiastic narration of the course of events by Siddhanth, probably the best and longest verbal recollection of an incident by him until then.

The mutual love and affection of our family with our building kids was reciprocal. There was this other lovely incident. It was my birthday and my husband had his hands full as the Executive Director was visiting their branch office. It was only in the evening that he could breathe after the visit went well. He bought a small bunch of roses and as he was alighting from his bike in our building premises, he was accosted by three wide – eyed kids. “Aunty ke liye?”, asked one and as he nodded his head, “Aunty ka birthday hai?”, asked another. Within the next five minutes we heard our doorbell ring. The three kids were stretching out a small bouquet hand made by them with whatever flowers they could gather from the plants in the building premises.“Happy birthday aunty”, they wished in chorus with their million dollar smiles.Well, that’s about one of the best birthday wishes I’ve ever received, evergreen in my memory.

Looking back, there were several occasions when we had decided on impromptu outings for Siddhanth with our building kids. As the kids grew up, their tastes also evolved – so there were the parks, the movies, eating -outs and I even remember bundling Siddhanth and a couple of kids in auto rickshaws to take them to view astronomical events (the Venus transit and partial solar eclipses) through a telescope in an Astronomical Society which was in the vicinity .

It’s true that Autism is a lifelong condition and alters our lifestyle in a huge way. Yet, let it not deter us or our children from enjoying the small pleasures of life with people we are comfortable with. We may or may not have a huge social circle , still we can always find ways to be happy by being in the present and embracing the lovely moments which unfold in this blessing called ‘life’. Zindagi jiyo jee bharke 🙂

Author Jaya Sudhakar

Jaya Sudhakar has done her Masters in Physics and was employed as an Asst.Manager in a PSU. Her son’s diagnosis urged her to seek voluntary retirement from service . She is actively involved with Forum for Autism, Nayi Disha and The Spectrum Autism. Friends,tending to plants, reading, writing, music, movies, travelling and a little bit of spirituality are her perennial energy boosters.

Typing of story in Word and Creative graphics done by CreativeSaathi Siddhanth Palaparti, Jaya’s son

Siddhanth is a budding graphic designer, coder and music lover. He has graduated in computer applications and completed several certificate courses. His work trajectory includes internships, freelancing and voluntary work for social causes. He derives immense happiness from remembering birthdays and wishing everyone for it. Swimming, travelling and playing music on the keyboard are his other passions.















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“Who Is David ?” By Jaya Sudhakar and Siddhanth Palaparti

Who Is David ?

This incident occurred when Siddhanth was in the 6th grade. We were vacationing in Hyderabad during his Diwali holidays. One evening we happened to be attending a prayer meeting conducted at a residence. After a few devotional songs, the lady who was conducting the meeting proceeded to open the Holy Bible. The small pause in the proceedings led Siddhanth to think that the meeting was over and he got up. In a bid to hold his interest, the lady said, “Sit down Siddhanth. I am now going to read the story of ‘David and Goliath’. Do you know who David is ?” Pat came the reply, “He’s my classmate.” My husband was like,“I saw that answer coming” and why not? Indeed Siddhanth did have a classmate named David and he was his good friend too!

To this day, this abiding memory brings a smile to our face.

By Jaya Sudhakar

Jaya Sudhakar has done her Masters in Physics and was employed as an Asst.Manager in a PSU. Her son’s diagnosis urged her to seek voluntary retirement from service . She is actively involved with Forum for Autism, Nayi Disha and The Spectrum Autism. Friends,tending to plants, reading, writing, music, movies, travelling and a little bit of spirituality are her perennial energy boosters.

Typing of story in Word and Creative graphics done by CreativeSaathi Siddhanth Palaparti, Jaya’s son

Siddhanth is a budding graphic designer, coder and music lover. He has graduated in computer applications and completed several certificate courses. His work trajectory includes internships, freelancing and voluntary work for social causes. He derives immense happiness from remembering birthdays and wishing everyone for it. Swimming, travelling and playing music on the keyboard are his other passions.

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EVERGREEN MEMORIES – 2 ( The Night Stories)By Jaya Sudhakar and Siddhanth Palaparti

EVERGREEN MEMORIES – 2
( The Night Stories)

EVERGREEN MEMORIES- from the Random Reflections series by Jaya Sudhakar and Siddhanth Palaparti



Siddhanth was diagnosed to be on the spectrum only at age 5. Much before that, maybe in his third year, just prior to entering playschool and even afterwards, he started displaying traits which surprised us but we did not read anything more to it.

I have vivid memories of a New Year Eve party. It was held on the lawns of our Office Quarters. It used to be a much – awaited annual affair as we could get an opportunity to mingle with the families of our colleagues from various branches across Mumbai. Amidst the colours, bright lights, music and chatter,what fascinated Siddhanth the most were the patterns formed by the lights.They were beamed at different places on the walls of the compound and there was a sequence to it.The design formed in each segment was different and all of them were beautiful. Siddhanth kept tracking them and would move across the lawn, correctly judging where the lights would be beamed next. I kept following him like Mary’s little lamb and keeping with the party mood, many of the fellow guests were like ‘WOW’ at his powers of observation and pulling my leg about the free exercise that I was getting.

We had another unforgettable experience around the same period.Siddhanth had learnt to recognize the alphabet and very organically gravitated towards spellings.We happened to be vacationing in Hyderabad where most of my in-laws lived. Whenever he met someone for the first time and came to know his/her name, he would immediately spell it out. One evening there was a power cut and we were sitting with our extended family in the courtyard. The kids were running around and playing. One of Siddhanth’s cousins asked him to spell the number ‘one’ which he did correctly. She went on to ‘2’, ‘3’ and so on, asking him to spell upto number ‘15’ or so and he delightfully spelt all the number names correctly, amidst squeals and peals of laughter from his cousins. It was a game that he was thoroughly enjoying. This was a big surprise and revelation for both my husband and me, as prior to this the number names had neither been taught to him at playschool nor had we ever touched upon it at home. It took me around 3 days to figure out that the source must have been the book of numbers in our Mumbai home. We used to browse through it in a fun way to show him the pictures( indicating the count) and to recognize the numerals. It had never struck me that his attention was also being attracted to the associated number names(spellings)which he was grasping by himself !


In hindsight with more awareness about autism and after being familiar with terms like ‘pattern recognition’ and ‘hyperlexia’, one could relate them to these incidents. Needless to say, every neurodivergent child or individual has many unique perspectives to share. It is for us to be more and more open and receptive to their thinking to discover and get enthralled by the myriad colours of life that they have to offer.

Author Jaya Sudhakar

Jaya Sudhakar has done her Masters in Physics and was employed as an Asst.Manager in a PSU. Her son’s diagnosis urged her to seek voluntary retirement from service . She is actively involved with Forum for Autism, Nayi Disha and The Spectrum Autism. Friends,tending to plants, reading, writing, music, movies, travelling and a little bit of spirituality are her perennial energy boosters.

Typing of story in Word and Creative graphics done by CreativeSaathi Siddhanth Palaparti, Jaya’s son


Siddhanth is a budding graphic designer, coder and music lover. He has graduated in computer applications and completed several certificate courses. His work trajectory includes internships, freelancing and voluntary work for social causes. He derives immense happiness from remembering birthdays and wishing everyone for it. Swimming, travelling and playing music on the keyboard are his other passions.

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Preparing Your Child for a Doctor’s Visit: Essential Do’s and Don’ts

Visiting the doctor can be a challenging experience for any child, and it can be particularly overwhelming for children on the autism spectrum. However, with proper preparation and support, parents can help their child navigate the doctor’s visit, waiting time there, and everything related to it smoothly.

Today, in this blog, I will discuss crucial do’s and don’ts for preparing your child for a doctor’s visit, ensuring a more positive and successful experience for everyone involved. I will also provide you with practical strategies and tips to prepare your child including familiarizing them with the doctor’s tools, electronic devices, and the room’s ambiance. So let’s get started.



Do’s:

1. Communicate, Explain and Prepare in advance: One of the essential steps in preparing your autistic child for a doctor’s visit is effective communication.

●Inform your child about the upcoming visit well in advance, using visual supports, social stories, or a visual schedule.

●Explain the purpose of the visit and what they can expect during the appointment.

●Familiarize them with the doctor’s office environment, if possible by showing YouTube videos and picture books. Start by explaining to your child why they need to visit the doctor and what to expect during the appointment.

●Use clear and concise language, visual aids such as social stories or picture schedules, and consider using visual timers to help them understand the duration of the visit.



2. Role Play: To help your child acclimatize to the doctor’s visit and be more at ease, consider and engage them in role-playing the experience at home.

●Pretend to be the doctor and demonstrate common procedures like checking temperature, listening to the heartbeat, or examining the eyes and ears in a play- way. If possible, use some familiar lines or dialogues from their favorite cartoon. This will help your child understand what to expect and reduce anxiety.

●Take turns playing the roles of the doctor, nurse, and patient. Use social stories or visual supports to depict the steps involved, allowing your child to become familiar with the process. To help your child become more comfortable with the doctor’s visit, engage in role-playing at home.



3. Create a Visual Schedule: Visual schedules can be immensely helpful for autistic children as they provide a structured and predictable sequence of events.

●Create a visual schedule specifically for the doctor’s visit, outlining each step from leaving the house to returning home.

●Include pictures or symbols representing the waiting room, doctor’s office, and various medical procedures.

●Refer to the schedule frequently to reinforce the routine and help your child understand the progress of the visit.

4. Sensory Preparation: Autistic children may have sensory sensitivities, so it is crucial to address any potential triggers before the visit. One can consider following points if they find strong aversions for public places in their child

●Visit the doctor’s office in advance to familiarize your child with the environment and its sensory aspects.

●Discuss with the staff any accommodations or modifications that can be made to create a more comfortable experience, such as dimming lights, reducing noise levels, or providing sensory toys or headphones.

5. Introduce Doctor’s Tools and Electronic Devices:Many autistic children can find medical instruments and electronic devices intimidating or overwhelming. Gradually introduce your child to these tools at home before the visit. For example, you can play pretend doctor using a stethoscope or show them pictures or videos of doctors using different medical tools. Encourage your child to explore and touch the instruments in a safe and controlled environment, helping to desensitize any potential fears or anxieties.

6. Choose the right doctor: Seek out healthcare professionals who have experience working with autistic individuals. They should be patient, understanding, and willing to make accommodations to meet your child’s needs. Consider asking for recommendations from other parents of autistic children or support groups.


7. Create a social story: Develop a personalized social story that explains the entire process of visiting the doctor. Use simple language and visual aids to illustrate each step. This will help your child anticipate and understand the sequence of events, reducing uncertainty.


8. Visual Supports for Waiting Time: Waiting can be challenging for any child, and it can be especially difficult for autistic children who may struggle with patience and uncertainty.

●Visual aids can be immensely beneficial for communication and comprehension. Create visual schedules or visual prompts to support your child during the visit. These can include pictures or icons representing different stages of the appointment or emotions they may feel.

●Use visual supports such as a timer or countdown app to help your child understand the waiting time.

●Bring along comfort items like their favorite toys, books, or headphones to provide a sense of security and distraction during the wait.

9. Prepare for Transitions: Transitioning from one activity to another can be particularly challenging for autistic children.

●Help your child prepare for the transitions during the doctor’s visit by using visual timers or countdowns.

●Give them advance warnings, such as “five more minutes until we finish” or “in two minutes, it’s time to move to the next room.” This will help your child anticipate and adjust to the changes, reducing anxiety and potential meltdowns.

10. Reinforce Positive Behavior: Throughout the visit, acknowledge and reinforce your child’s positive behavior and cooperation. Offer praise, rewards, or small incentives for their efforts, such as a favorite snack or a special activity they enjoy. Positive reinforcement will help create a positive association with the doctor’s visit and encourage your child



Don’ts:

1. Don’t rush: Allow ample time for the visit, as rushing can increase stress levels for both you and your child. Plan ahead to avoid being in a hurry or feeling rushed during the appointment.

2. Avoid surprises: Be transparent about what will happen during the visit. Avoid surprising your child with unexpected procedures or tests without prior explanation, as this can lead to distress and meltdowns.

3. Don’t dismiss concerns: Respect and acknowledge any concerns or fears your child expresses about the doctor’s visit. Validate their feelings and provide reassurance. Ignoring or dismissing their worries may increase anxiety.

4. Avoid overwhelming waiting areas: Crowded or noisy waiting rooms can be overwhelming for autistic individuals. If possible, contact the doctor’s office in advance to discuss alternatives, such as scheduling appointments during less busy times or requesting a separate waiting area.

5. Don’t forget to communicate with the doctor: Inform the doctor about your child’s specific needs and challenges. Share any relevant information about their sensory sensitivities, communication preferences, or strategies that have worked well in the past. Collaborate with the doctor to ensure your child’s needs are met.

6. Don’t forget to debrief: After the visit, take the time to discuss the experience with your child. Acknowledge their efforts and reinforce positive aspects of the visit. Address any concerns they may have for future visits and offer reassurance based on their experience.


A brief story on Yuvaan’s latest Doctor’s visit

Two weeks back, I took my son Yuvaan to the doctor when he was suffering from diarrhea. Yuvaan is a well-prepared and socially adept child, comfortable in public places, including the doctor’s clinic. Thanks to the effort I put into preparing him for various social settings, including public places like a doctor’s clinic, he’s able to visit comfortably and cooperates during the check-up.

Regular visits to the doctor’s clinic, pretend- play and other mentioned tips above had familiarized him with the clinic environment. This proactive approach has always helped him feel at ease and made the visits less stressful for both of us.

On the day of the visit, Yuvaan was feeling totally unwell due to the symptoms of diarrhea. However, I had previously taken him a day before, to the doctor for diarrhea check-up.

As we entered the clinic, Yuvaan greeted the receptionist with a smile and responded politely when she asked for his name during checking his previous appointment details. It was heartening to see him behaving confidently in a medical setting.

While waiting for our turn, Yuvaan engaged himself in reading on the board nearby to keep him occupied, which helped distract him from any discomfort he might have been feeling. This is a self regulatory method he uses in every public place while waiting.

However, on this particular day, something unexpected happened, while playing at home in evening, Yuvaan hurt his knee, and as usual his immediate reaction is that he asks me to take him to the doctor and put some bandages on his “boo-boo” or to apply ointment or lotion or a band-aid.


Unbeknownst to me, Yuvaan associated that visit to the doctor with getting his knee examined and treated. As soon as we entered the doctor’s cabin, he confidently sat on the stool, greeted the doctor, and began explaining, “Doctor, look, I got hurt! I have a boo-boo. I stubbed my knee, and it’s all yellow, blue, and green now. Put some bandages. Fix my boo-boo.”
The doctor and nurse were taken aback by Yuvaan’s unexpected remarks, and they looked at him in shock. Had they responded, it would have been a delightful and engaging two-way conversation. However, I quickly clarified the situation to Yuvaan, informing him that the nurse would be the one to put the bandage on his knee. He promptly got up, went over to the nurse, and had a bandage applied to the injured area. Afterward, he returned to his seat, proudly declaring that he was feeling better. “Nurse fixed my boo-boo, I am feeling much better now” he confidently announced to me.

As I continued discussing Yuvaan’s diarrhea condition with the doctor, he couldn’t contain his excitement. On our way back to the main gate, he made sure to inform everyone we encountered in the corridor that he was feeling better and that he had received a bandage. His independent and articulate explanation of his injury and the subsequent resolution left me amazed. It was a remarkable accomplishment for a 5-year-old to handle such a situation independently with confidence and clarity.

Throughout the visit, Yuvaan demonstrated his ability to adapt to new environments and social settings. His cooperation and comfort in the doctor’s clinic made the experience smoother for both of us and helped the medical professionals provide the necessary care for his condition.

As a parent, it was gratifying to see the result of the efforts put into preparing Yuvaan for such situations. This incident reinforced the importance of familiarizing children with different environments, teaching them social skills, and building their confidence to navigate various situations comfortably.


Hope you enjoyed reading today’s blog. Do provide your valuable feedback and share it with others.

Thank you

Author Shilpi Mayank Awasthi

Founder SpecialSaathi