Are you creating an entitled child ?
We all have our own unique style of parenting. This can be influenced by our very own parents , our attachment style in our relationships , personality , personal choice , societal factors etc
Well no style or fashion is wrong but we do need to keep in our mind what could influence our child to become an entitled one
Now what is entitled child ?
Entitlement is a mental block in our mind that makes us believe that we deserve something even though we didn’t deserve it. So an entitled child would feel that their needs are important and rules don t apply to them. This could apply to both ND and NT child.
How you create an entitled child?
Look at the three examples below :
When you say
1. If you help mumma to clean up the cupboard , I will give you chocolate to eat – The child thinks if I help somebody with something they owe me
2. Your sister is upset and sad , Go and say sorry to her – The child thinks if I feel sad at any time , other people owe me an apology
3. You have to share your toys with others , give it to your friend – The child will think When I want some thing , people will have to give it to me
Now let us shift the focus
How can you correct entitlement ?
Look at the three examples now
When you say
1. I am so grateful you help me ! – the child now understands Helping people feels powerful and fulfilling
2. It looks like , she is feeling upset. Do you want to check on your sister ?- the child now understands I can be there for my siblings but I am not responsible for their feelings.
3. If you are not ready to share your toy , you can tell them – the child now understands others can share their things if they want to , but I am not entitled to them
Well some of you may agree , some may not with the above text on correcting entitlement.
You can take your call. I am not entitled to make you feel happy.
There other strategies that can help to end your child’s sense of entitlement
a) Set clear expectations and boundaries
b) Don’t get into a power struggle with the child
c) Explain the consequence to child ahead of time
d) Saying no to your child is must and needs practice
e) Remember parenting is not a contest
f) Use hypodermic affection with your child , this is give them credit when they so something good like handling a disappointment when a plan got cancelled
g) Help your child become self-sufficient keeping in mind how they would be a worker or a partner when they grow up
Remember as parent you want your child to be a responsible adult and we must not land up disliking the way our child behaves or acts.
We don’t want to create a narcissistic or sadistic personality out of our children.
Ending the sense of entitlement is really hard to do , but it will get comfortable over the time
The magic words are – “it just takes practice “
I hope you can connect with this blog and make sense of it and apply it.
Like I said earlier as well , I am not entitled for how you feel about this blog …haha
Thankyou for sparing time to read this
Creative efforts and sleepy soul – Heena Sahi
Creative representation for this blog is done by our supertalented CreativeSaathi associate Morpheus Nag